Ever since I was little, people have asked me the question: what do you want to be when you grow up? When I was really young, I would say something completely random like, “I want to be a gymnast!” or “I want to be a dancer!” (Of course, these are normal dreams to have, it’s just that I have no dancing skills or flexibility, so these dreams were a bit out of my reach) As I grew up and matured, so did my responses. When asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would say: “I want to be a doctor and save lives.” This was the response that ended up sticking throughout my life. I have always wanted to be a doctor and save lives. I have never really questioned this decision; it just seemed right. As I am nearing college application season however, this self-assuredness is slowly starting to decrease. I am having conflicting thoughts about whether to confine myself to a career I decided on when I was in middle school. I have been weighing the pros and cons, I have been consulting with trusted adults around me, I have done every single thing possible to make sure this is the right career for me. Now, you might ask, where has this thorough research gotten me? Am I sure of my career now? The answer is…no. In fact, I am more unsure right now than I have ever been in my entire life. It’s ironic isn’t it? At the one point in my life I am supposed to get it together and make a decision, I falter.
This skepticism got me thinking, how did I come to the conclusion I wanted to be a doctor in the first place? Did someone tell me to become one? Was it my parents? Was it something I heard my friends saying? Eventually, I came to a conclusion: it was a combination of all of these. Me, at the impressionable age of thirteen, heard stories from both my friends and family about doctors making other people’s lives better and curing what seemed incurable. At that point, I knew that’s where I belonged. Of course, as time passed, my goals became more specific, I knew I wanted to pursue scientific research and connect it to medical applications somehow. I volunteered at hospitals and realized which specific branches I wanted to spend my time in. As I reminisced about moments I knew I wanted to pursue medicine, I started asking my friends and family how they came to know they would be pursuing their careers. When I started getting the same or similar answers from most of my friends, I knew something was wrong. The response was: “My parents didn’t give me any other option.” This answer shocked me. I knew there were some kids forced into certain careers because of their parents, but I had no idea that the vast majority of my friends were being restricted to careers they have no real desire to pursue.
As I thought about my friends and the parental pressures they faced, I realized this was a significant problem. So many kids are being told from a young age what the “right” careers are, those most likely being the ones that pay the most. Kids are told they have to be doctors, lawyers, or engineers to seem noble in the eyes of society and to support their future families. Although this is a reasonable goal, kids should be able to decide if that is what they want on their own, not through their parents.
This phenomenon is primarily seen in immigrant parents, who worked extremely hard to provide for their families. It is understandable that they wouldn’t want their children to struggle the same way they did. However, there are other ways to ensure one’s child ends up successful and happy in the future. Parents could identify where a child’s natural interests lie and help them pursue those interests further. Parents could encourage their children instead of forcing them, allowing the children to become successful in whichever field they desire. If this is done from an early age, there should be no reason for a child to be unsuccessful. All parents have to do is encourage their children to remain active and curious.
Sadly, that is not the state for our current generation of youth, who are apparently being forced into high-paying yet unfulfilling jobs. I like to think I got lucky because I ended up being passionate about a career my parents would also approve of. However, not everyone has this luxury.
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