The Art of Making Friends

In my opinion, those are two very different things. One involves a sense of enjoyment and contentment, whereas the other involves networking and strategy. Friends make you happy in the long run, but connections make you feel powerful and worthy. From what I’ve seen, when one has true friends, it doesn’t matter how many of them there are because they are fulfilled. When one is seeking connections, the more the merrier. There can never be too many. 

In high school, these two concepts can often be confused. Students strive to have a big circle so they feel validated and powerful, but fail to obtain meaningful relationships in the process. The sad part is that these large circles do nothing but flaunt their so-called happiness. It seems as if they are having the time of their lives. However, that is often not the case. Large groups consist of drama and constant controversies. No one really trusts one another and everything always seems to be a competition. Now, I know this sounds like the rant of a bitter, lonely person, hating on those fortunate enough to have many friends. I also know that not all large friend groups are like this. Therefore, I think it is important to note that this article does not aim to criticize large friend groups (although it did for a period of time, so for that I apologize); rather, it aims to justify wanting to keep a small friend group. 

Ever since I was a kid, I have always had a large friend circle. It was me, and around five other girls that would spend everyday together at school. We would have playdates and sleepovers and would always be laughing and having fun. Looking back at those moments now almost makes me wish I had that same friend group currently, but we can’t always have what we wish for. There’s also no chance the friendship would have remained stable throughout middle school and high school, so that possibility is most definitely ruled out. Around middle school, my friend group started to change. Some of my friends moved, and the others simply grew apart. Everything I once knew was gone and I was left all by myself to start again. I watched my old friends get new friends and grow in popularity. I found myself cursing them for their social climbing tendencies, but I secretly wished I was up there with them, taking in all the glory of being in the spotlight. I started feeling irrelevant and unnecessary. No one noticed me or thought I stood out. All of my old friends were thriving, but I was stuck. I was stuck in the past. 

When I got to high school, everything was the exact same except my old friends never crossed my mind and I was now comfortable in my irrelevance. It was a weird shift. Nothing had changed, yet everything had changed at the same time. I was still not in the spotlight, but I was somehow thankful for that. I thought about the moments I wanted nothing more than to be popular and realized that it was not what I wanted after all. I had a select number of friends with whom I would spend my time. I was content and felt no pressure to be the social butterfly or the popular girl. I was just myself, and that was enough.

Now, I know this whole story probably sounded a bit cheesy, but every single part of it was true. I never truly got over the fact that I wasn’t the socialite I used to be, but that’s perfectly fine. There is nothing wrong with having a few close friends and nothing more. As long as you are content, that is all that matters. The whole rant in the beginning about large friend groups being competitive and toxic was the thought process it took for me to realize that where I am right now is okay. I am happy having the friends I have and have no desire to suffer through all the pressure of a large friend group. Of course, it’s fine to want that too, but one must weigh their priorities because a certain amount of yourself has to be given away to remain in such a friend group. Therefore, do not succumb to the social pressures of high school and decide for yourself what you want.